August 2, 2007


If I was to ask you, what is your impression of the perfect father; what would you say? Could you answer and say... mine is; or was the perfect father? I can't. Why? Because like so many others in our society I grew up without a father.

In this country fathers (not all, but a lot) have been absent... abusive (physically and emotionally) lacking in love and family commitment... alcoholics or addicted to drugs or other materials that have caused them to do bad things to there children.

If you have or had a father like that, I know your pain. My father was removed from my life at 6 months old and I didn't meet him until I was 17. This absenteeism made it very difficult for me growing up. I had no one in my life that could give the support that a father is suppose to give. I'm not talking the ATM type of dad, I talking about the support system that is suppose to be in place to teach you how to grow and mature in life.

Because of this I developed my own group of mentors and role models... 2 problems; 1) I wasn't using very good discretion with my choices; 2) No one was around to let me know that my choices were bad.

When I finally was grown and on my own, I didn't realize it at first, but the lack of having a fatherly role model followed me into my own family and when I found out that I was going to be a dad... I didn't know how to act, so needless to say I didn't always do the right things or make the right choices. But one thing I knew... I wasn't going to leave my son and become and absentee father.

Growing up my grandfather and some of my relatives (mostly Italians) instilled into my mind that God was the Father type that as soon as you screwed up, He was going to beat you upside your head with a baseball bat. They never explained that He was a Father of love.

Here's the sad part of this story. As I got older... knowing something was missing in my life, I turned to God, and this was extremely hard because I expected God to react toward me like I was brought up.

Those who have had this type of up bringing understand, and if and when we turn to God we picture God will act or react like our earthly fathers did.

This is not true. God has unconditional love for you and even knows that you're not perfect. He knows you're going to make mistakes, and when you do, He doesn't blow a rod yelling, "get out, you're a nothing and you'll always be a nothing". He has a tender love that allows you to refocus and turn it around.

Psalm 9:10 "Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord do not abandon those who search for you." This means that God (the Father)will never cut out on us no matter what we are facing in our lives.

The ugly picture that well meaning people try to paint about the character of God is really a bad mental picture because God so loved the world, (mankind) that he gave His only Son (Jesus Christ) and whoever believes in Him will not die but have eternal life.

If you could begin to understand that God loves you, it may cause you to have a new desire; to build a relationship with Him as a father who is always present and is a wonderful role model with a plan for your life. There is a lot of scriptures that give us the real picture of God's character, all you have to do is open that Bible, open your heart and search.

There are times when I still battle this issue about God booting me to the curb but today this fact is settled in my heart... God is not a man that can lie and that means I can trust Him at His word.

He has taught me so much; like how to love... how to forgive and how to be a better father. I still haven't arrived but I thank God that I'm not were I use to be in my life.

Jesus loves you and so do I.
Jim "DoughBoy" Brady